Calf paths of the Mind

Deer Scott,

I was once told by a man with no hair that blogging would make me cool. It struck me as odd, because I'm pretty sure I was already cool. So in my quest to become awesome blog I will. So I was listening to this super legit band, PMtoday, and one of their songs struck me in a new way today. Titled, "Progress is a Lemon" there was a line from this track that never struck me before, "my thoughts were all hand-me-downs." Reminded me of that chat we had about being children and accepting everything our parents said and just trusting them. I wonder how many of my thoughts aren't hand-me-downs is anything we do original, or just a fusion of previous ideas. Things like this only encourage my cynicism, probably not a good thing. Oh well, awesome lyricists blow my mind sometimes.

Cordially,

Scott

Keeping It Real

Dear Scott,

No, I steal my own hairs from my head. It's a strangely liberating thing, head shaving. I used to have a nice beard. Not too bushy, but not a mere scruff. It was my trademark, it was me. But then life happened and I noticed the top of my head couldn't keep up with my face at hair-growing. So I did what Al Gore eventually did in 2000, I admitted defeat and moved on. Post-hair life is actually quite rewarding, I get to look at picture of Michael Jordan and pretend to get them confused with me, I get to say things like "I'm just keepin' it real," and I get to buy products from this company. All-in-all, not a bad deal. And it seems like chicks sorta dig it.

Best,
Scott

A Couple of Thieves

Deer Scott,

Your memory serves you well, I was indeed born with a five o'clock shadow. Though I have to shave it from time to time, I occasionally want to look professional. Alas, the dreams I dream are always of a stupid task, but in extreme detail. I never have anything nearly exciting as that, you always seem to steal all the fun dreams. I guess its revenge for stealing the hair from your head?

Cordially,

Scott

just born with it

Dear Scott,

I thought you were born with a 5 o'clock shadow. Guess not. Although I do find it interesting that you dream about shaving. What does that say about you? I have this weird thing about me. Every few months for the last three or four years I've dreamed in episodes of King of the Hill. They're always episodes I've never seen before. And they're always amazing. A few nights ago I dreamed that Hank got injured and so his dog Ladybird had to drive him home during a snowstorm. It was a fantastic dream.

Best regards,
Scott

Let bygones be bygones

Deer Scott,

I believe it was just a typo, but now I believe it shall be a tradition. The ID is gone, I've moved on, it was a hard thing to do, but to resurrect the card would only tarnish its memory. Last night I had an extremely vivid dream of shaving, it was probably the best shave I've ever had. So when I woke up I felt like I didn't need to shave anymore. That's the story of how I came to work with a five o'clock shadow.

Cordially,

Scott

Dear Scott,

I don't know why you think I'm a deer (or a collective of deer) but I am glad we can put the shredder business behind us. For the record, the ID didn't go anywhere, it's not as if the shredder destroyed it on a molecular level. If you miss it so bad why don't we just tape it back together?

Sincerely,
Scott

Deer Scott,

It's cool, I forgive you for taking advantage of my need to be socially accepted. The student ID will be missed.

Cordially,

Scott

Shredded

Dear Scott,

Sorry I peer-pressured you into shredding your BYU student ID.

Sincerely,
Scott